Being alone often carries social stigma. Most people don’t want to spend time by themselves because they are afraid of being judged by others.
Nonetheless, spending time alone has many benefits for yourself and here are my top 5.
1. You will learn to build a positive relationship with yourself.
What’s the best way to get to know someone? By spending time with them.
When you’re always occupying yourself by being around others all the time, you have to compromise to what others want instead of putting yourself first.
You have to settle for less than what you actually wanted.
In some case, this might be good if you’re surrounded by someone whom you look up to, but if that’s not the case, then you’re selling yourself short.
When you choose to do things by yourself, you can do everything in your own terms. You will get the chance to get to know yourself better.
What’s more, it is better to be with yourself than being in a toxic relationship.
For example, some people might always keep themselves busy by going out and getting drunk with a few friends. Even though some people do enjoy that, have you ever asked yourself why you’re going out?
Is it because it is a Friday night and you don’t want to be a loser by staying in alone? Or is it because your friends pressure you to do it?
If you answer yes to the above questions then you have some thinking to do.
When you’re comfortable being by yourself, you will no longer need to look for validation. Meaning, peer pressure will mean nothing to you.
Moreover, as you start to build a good and healthy relationship with yourself. You will become your best friend, consequently, this will get rid of all the negative self-talk.
“you cannot possibly have a healthy relationship with others if you haven’t learned to have a healthy relationship with yourself.”
Negative self-talk happens to all of us, it is a nature of human mind. If we were to talk to our friend like how we negative talk to ourselves, we will be sent to a mental institute.
However, by having a good and healthy relationship with yourself, your self-esteem will increase.
You will back yourself up more, and you will learn to say ‘it’s okay’ whenever you fail or make a mistake. You would do the same thing to your best friend when they fail, wouldn’t you?
In fact, you are the number one person that you spend time with for the most in your life. Whenever you succeed, fail or struggle, YOU will be there for YOU. Therefore, build a good relationship with yourself. And whatever you want to do in life, you know that you can back yourself up.
2. You will build more meaningful relationships with others
When you know who you are and stop looking for validation, you will be able to express your value which you stand for and, consequently, you will attract like-minded people.
You will get to meet people who has similar interests and who actually appreciate you for who you really are because your relationship is built on genuine connection rather than the pressure to fit in.
These people whom you attract to your life without trying will cherish you and help you get closer to whatever your goal is in life.
Furthermore, when you actually make time to see and catch up with someone rather than just calling someone up because you’re bored, your conversation will become more meaningful. After all, no one deserves to be in your life only just to fill in the hole in yourself.
3. You will become more creative
When you spare some time for yourself, you will get to do whatever it is that you enjoy, or learn some new skills, or find new hobbies, or explore new interests.
Artists, musicians or innovators always spend time alone when they are trying to come up with new ideas.
Studies confirm that being alone often fosters creativity.
Greatest ideas always come when you’re alone with your thoughts, for example, when you’re in a shower.
Bill Gates takes one week off, twice a year, to spend time with himself at his secret cabin. He calls this ‘Think Week’, which eventually led him to launching Internet Explorer in 1995.
In fact, creativity is one of the most important skills in the modern world. With more people become so skilled in many different small areas, it is hard to set yourself apart. Being creative can help you do just that. Hence, set a time aside for yourself to develop your creativity.
4. You will think long-term
When you spare some time with yourself, you will get to sit down, look back and reflect on your life.
You will get the sense of gratitude for how far you have come, and explore the drive that motivates you to move forward. You will get to think and plan ahead where you are heading.
If we are always occupied by other people, we might lose focus on what it is that we actually want to do and what we are doing.
Being by yourself can help you plan out your long-term goals.
5. You will be happier
When you’re comfortable being by yourself, you will have more control over your internal power. This means that rather than seeking happiness or satisfaction from external environments, you can build it within.
Rather than finding things or someone to make you happy, you can just BE happy because the source of happiness comes from yourself.
You will also have less expectation of others, which consequently, putting less pressure on them because people don’t like letting someone down. This can even generate healthier relationships.
As you have a better relationship with yourself, while being surrounded by people who appreciate the real you, you will thrive in whatever you do because you always have yourself and people around you who has got your back.
As well, studies found that knowing your goals and doing things to get closer to your goals can increase happiness in life. You will have things to work on, to look forward to and you will have that goals that get you out of bed every morning.
On the other hand, I am not saying that you should spend time alone all the time. Social interaction is as much important. Humans are social animals after all.
No one barely get to where they want to be without the help of others.
The point is if you think you think you’re stuck in a relationship, you might be better off being by yourself.
After all, only YOU know what is best for you.
In summary, spending time alone has many benefits.
The wrong belief about being alone mostly came from the time in school when we were young. We always thought of that kid who has lunch alone as being weird, that they have no one to hang out with. And you don’t really want to be that kid.
We sometimes carry on that belief even after high school. We avoid doing things alone in public because we are afraid that people might be watching and judging us. However, why should you care?
Another reason that people don’t spend time alone can also be because they are afraid that their thoughts may drive them crazy. When in fact, these negative thoughts came from outside and it got stuck in our head. These negative thoughts might have come from our parents, teachers or bullies in high school, and they might have got transferred into the voice in our head when we grow up.
If we learn to build a good relationship with ourselves, we can get rid of these thoughts. When your mind is your best friend, you can achieve whatever you desire, because our mind is our strongest weapon.
Successful people got to where they are today not because of what they have growing up. Even if you take everything away from them, they will still find a way to get to the top because their mindset is their most valuable asset.
Hence, be friend with yourself and your mind will give you what you desire.